you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
