...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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