Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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