but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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