I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize