Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
