i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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