I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
