you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The power of my boobs compel you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
