Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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