Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
