I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...