I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like a drive thru vagina