you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
