You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
