i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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