Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
