I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She bit a glass in half.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
