Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize