The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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