She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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