Michael Bay diarrhea
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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