Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
