I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
