Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
