Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
