he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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