Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.