DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT