So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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