Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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