carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
