White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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