Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
