We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
