im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
