So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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