why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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