is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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