he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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