im having a threesome with these popsicles
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
