Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
