ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
