apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
