So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm really busy with my period
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