Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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