can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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