This house was built for laser tag.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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