I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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