I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
