I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Two words: blizzard sex
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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