ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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