wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
