then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
