That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So much rum. So many feels.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
