my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
