You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
