You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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