can u get pink eye on your cock?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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